I am a grown women, right? I am 5 foot 4 inches tall and have whittled my weight to 130lbs. Not a light weight anymore but not so heavy either. I am happy with it..for now. But that isn't the point of this blog talk. I just need to state that I am of full size and strength. So why is this chicken thing an issue?
Well as most of you guys know, Morgan is away at camp. Enough said. I miss her. I cry. But seeing her picture on the camps blog was cool. She was smiling, though isn't that what we are trained to do? So the picture doesn't comfort me much. Still a nice touch on the camp facilitators part. So with her being gone, chicken duty has fallen on me and Samuel. So early in the morning before breakfast we head out with egg basket and garbage bucket in tow. It is a great time. Hand in Hand we stroll swinging our basket and bucket. Life is good. But then it strikes: the fear of a sitting chicken.
I think I mentioned once how Morgan gleefully chanted "mom's afraid of a chicken, mom's afraid of a chicken". Well I just might get the chance to prove that I am not afraid of a chicken. But wait I am afraid. I mean I do not want to get pecked! Ugh. What to do? Oh I will teach Samuel to do it! I mean he is a big boy now he can get the eggs and it will be good for him. Yes, I thought that. I admit it.
So with fear in my gut, we approach the hen house and open the door to find...A sitting hen. At least it is a black one I say to myself, and She is pretty. She doesn't look mean. Still I gather all the other eggs first. Fill the feeder and dump and carry the water out. Sooner than I would like there is nothing left to do. I gotta get those eggs. I look back at Samuel, I can't tell if he can tell that I am hesitating. Then he calmly states "that's meanie the black one with the tall tail, she always pecks Morgan" That confirms it he can't tell how I feel at all. Or if he can he is a cruel cruel little boy!
Ok, with a gulp and a grown up shake some sense into myself, I turn to face the chicken. I could almost here the Clint Eastwood music, ya know the western duel kind. So I give myself another firm I can do this and just how chicken am I? Note to self on the irony here. This human chicken is facing a real chicken and the real chicken isn't acting like a chicken at all. Rather she has now fluffed out her neck feathers, spread out her wings and has prepared herself to fight. If she could speak she would say "I have a beak and I am not afraid to use it!!" So who here is the real chicken? Cause if I was talking I would say "I have two hands with soft easy to peck skin, and I am afraid to use them". I am backing away now. So what if I am scared, it is all right to be scared. Lots of people are scared.
Ok seriously the is ridiculous. I am a grown woman. Not only that but my son will see my fear and he will catch it..fear is like that.. contagious. So I can't let this drag on for one more second. Here it goes.
With one sure steady quick move, I cover puffed up momma birds head with my left hand and snatch the eggs with my right. A wax on, wax off, karate mom move. It is over in a flash. Who cares that I have to be a two handed gatherer? I got the eggs and I avoided the peck! That is a success! I am now the one puffing myself up to look bigger than I am.
I, the mother who is afraid of a chicken, have faced my fear and overcome it. That is until tomorrow morning.